1. I’ve heard guys talk about wet dreams. What are they? Is it true that they are spiritual attacks and that one requires spiritual healing?
Most boys have wet dreams otherwise referred to as nocturnal emission. This occurs when a boy becomes sexually excited in his sleep. He has an erection and ejaculates sperm. This usually happens while he is having a sexual dream. When he wakes up in the morning, he finds that his bed is wet with a white, sticky fluid called semen. In some societies, wet dreams are associated with myths, which are not true. Wet dreams are a natural biological process through which the body releases sperm that are ready to leave the body. It is nothing to worry about and does not require any spiritual healing.

2. My breasts have begun to develop but one is larger than the other. What can I do?
The development of breasts is one of the most obvious signs that one is becoming a woman. During puberty, the breasts start to swell and become more noticeable. Many people have unequal breasts. In fact, it is rare to find that both breasts are equal. This is because normally, the whole of one’s body is different –one side of one’s face is different from the other. So there is nothing wrong with you if one breast is bigger than the other. All breasts work the same way, no matter their size. Usually, the first change that occurs is a darkening of the area around the nipple (the areola). Then the nipples get larger and begin to stand out more (although some turn in instead of sticking out – inverted nipple). The next change that occurs is the growth of the breast and often one breast will start growing first while the other lags behind. These processes are normal and they happen to every girl-child.

3. I am 21 years old but I have small breasts. Is there any drug for breast enlargement and firmness? Also, can this affect my ability to breast-feed in future?
Your breasts are made up of glands and fat tissue. The size and shape of your breasts depend mostly on the amount of fatty tissue they have. If there is a lot of fat in your breasts, they will be large, if there is little fat they will be small. Actually there is nothing you can do to make your breasts bigger, except through surgery. Heredity plays a major factor in the size and shape of your breast and body as a whole, so if your mum for example doesn’t have large breasts, you cannot expect to have one. Breast size does not affect breast-feeding in any way. Small breasts do just as good job of making breast milk as large ones, so be proud of your breasts and stop worrying about their size.

4. Each time I see girls putting on tight blouses or short skirts, I am instantly sexually aroused. Please can you tell me what is wrong with me, and how to control it because it is really embarrassing?
A male child is usually born with all the internal and external sexual organs. The testes (the two balls in the scrotum), which are the sex glands, start to produce the male hormones (and rosterone and testosterone) when a boy attains puberty. These hormones are necessary for sperm production. They are also responsible for the sexual arousal (and erection) a boy has at the sight or thought of someone he is sexually attracted to. It is natural and nothing to be ashamed of. It’s okay to be sexually attracted to someone, but you do not have to act on this feeling or become sexually involved with all the people you are attracted to. At such times, focus on redirecting your thoughts to other things rather than the subject causing this arousal.

5. Do most boys masturbate and is it bad for you? How about girls?
Yes, most boys (and men too) masturbate. Not all do though. It’s normal if you do and normal if you don’t. Some men start to masturbate when they’re kids and continue throughout life; some start during puberty, while others don’t start till they’re older. There are some men who never masturbate. Girls and women also masturbate, though it is generally believed that girls are not as likely as boys to masturbate.
No, masturbation is not harmful. Many years ago, it was believed that horrible things would happen if one masturbated, but now we know better.

6. I masturbate a lot and I’ve heard that if you masturbate often when you’re young, you will have problems with your sex life in adulthood. Is this true?
It is true that some people think that if you masturbate a lot when you’re young, you’ll learn to like it so much that you won’t enjoy sexual intercourse as much when you’re older. This however isn’t true. Yes, many men find that they have more physically intense orgasms from masturbation than from intercourse, but other men find that they have more intense orgasms from intercourse. Yet still, others find no difference in intensity. You can fall in any of these categories, regardless of whether or not you masturbated when you were younger.

7. My friends say masturbation is sinful and morally wrong. Is this true?
One person’s idea of what is sinful or morally wrong may be very different from another person’s, depending on one’s values and/or religious beliefs. In the past, many religions held that masturbation was sinful, but most leaders have changed that view today. It really is an individual thing, something you’ll decide by yourself. If you’re bothered by the notion that masturbation is sinful, you may want to talk with your religious leader or another adult.

8. If a boy doesn’t masturbate or have sexual intercourse, what happens when his scrotum is filled with sperm?
If a boy doesn’t ejaculate, either through masturbation or sexual intercourse and his scrotum gets filled with sperm, the sperm will be expelled either through a wet dream or mix up with urine and expelled as urine.

9. I am 16 years old and my periods are very irregular. Am I normal?
You are perfectly normal! Young women who’ve just started having their periods are particularly likely to have irregular periods. It takes a while for our bodies to adjust to menstruating. You may have your first period and not have another one for six months, or you may have your second period two weeks after your first one. It often takes two or three years to develop anything near a regular pattern, and some women never do get very regular.

10. Each time I menstruate, I get serious pains in my belly. Why is it so?
This pain you describe is referred to as menstrual cramps. Almost all women have cramps at sometime or other in her life. They may happen before or during menstrual periods and may just be a mild achy feeling, or sharp and severe pain. No one knows why women have menstrual cramps, though some say it happens because the uterus contracts rhythmically while women are having their periods to help expel the menstrual blood.

If you’re troubled by cramps, exercises could help reduce the pain, or better still, a pain reliever can be taken to ease the pain. If however you’ve tried these and are still troubled by cramps, you should see a doctor. Severe cramps are sometimes a sign of some underlying medical problem.

11. At times, I see a whitish substance in my panties. What could be the cause, or do I have an infection?
The discharge you see is most likely the result of the natural cleansing action of your vagina. It may happen just before or after your period and you shouldn’t worry about it. If however the discharge is yellowish or greenish, foul-smelling or makes you itch, then you have an infection and should see a doctor at once.

12. My friends say some boys are born with just one testicle. Could this be true? If yes, will a boy with only a testicle be able to have children?
Yes, it is true some boys are born with just one testicle, but this doesn’t happen often. Also, a boy or man could lose a testicle due to injury or accident. Whatever the reason for the absence or loss, the other testicle takes over the function of the missing testicle and produces enough sperm so that the man will be still able to make a woman pregnant. His sex life and everything else about him will remain completely normal.

13. I have some white pimples on my penis. I’ve never had sex. Why do I have them?
It’s most unlikely that it’s a sign of an STD since you say you’ve never had sex. The skin of your penis, just like the skin on other parts of your body is subject to all sorts of pimples, bumps, scars, etc. The white, pimple-like bumps that you have may just be blocked oil glands in the skin of your penis and is nothing to worry about. Of course, anytime you have some problem that bothers you, it’s always a good idea to have it checked by a doctor.

14. I have this lump in my scrotum. Though it doesn’t hurt, I’m worried that it could be a sign of something serious?
Most lumps or bumps in the scrotum are the result of cysts. Cysts are collections of fluid. Some will go away by themselves, while others require surgery to remove them. Although majority of lumps in boys’ scrotum are not serious, it’s a good idea to have them checked by a doctor.

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Dating, Relationship and Love Back to top

1. How do you know if someone likes you? How do you let someone know you like them?
There are basically two ways: you can do it yourself or you can have a friend do it for you. If you decide to have a friend do it, you’ll want to pick someone you really trust, or next thing you’ll know, it will be all over town! It’s often easier to let someone else do the talking for you, but keep in mind that you don’t have very much control over what’s being said and your friend may say more or less than you would say if you did it yourself.

For this reason, many people prefer to do the telling themselves. You can let someone know you like him or her by being friendly, starting conversations, going out of your way to be around that person, asking the person to go out with you, or simply telling the person how you feel. You can also find out if a person likes you by watching to see if that person does any of these things to you.

2. How do you know if it’s really love that you feel for a person?
This is a difficult question cause there aren’t clear cut definitions of what love is. Many young people often "fall in love" once they begin dating. However it is important to recognize the differences between infatuation and true love. Infatuation is an intense, exciting kind of feeling. People sometimes mistake infatuation for love, but infatuation usually doesn’t last very long, while true love does.

3. I’m not ready to give in to sex, but my boyfriend tells me that sexual intercourse would make the affection we have for each other grow stronger. Is this true? Is there any relationship between sex and love?
Having sexual intercourse alone does not make a good relationship. You can love someone without going to bed with him. You don’t prove your love with sex. Sexual intercourse can be wonderful in a loving relationship. But if one person doesn’t want it, it is not an act of love to force that person to have it. If you do not want to have sexual relationship with your boyfriend, don’t. He must respect your decision. If he can’t, then he doesn’t love you like he claims. Speak to your boyfriend again about your feelings. If he would not listen, you may need to reconsider your staying in that relationship.

4. Is it all right to kiss on your first date? Is it wrong to get into necking and petting? Where should you draw the line?
Again, people’s opinion on this issue varies, so you alone will decide what you will do. Some people think it’s OK to kiss on a first date, while others don’t. Some think necking is OK; others say you might get carried away and go all the way. Yet still, other think it’s sinful and morally wrong. Your decision on this issue will influenced by your parents’ values, your friends’ opinion, religious beliefs, moral beliefs, and your emotions.

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Sexual Intercourse Back to top

1. What exactly does "having sex" include?
"Having sex" can mean many things. It can refer to intimacy or closeness between a man and a woman, between two men or between two women. "Having sex" doesn't just mean when a man's penis enters a woman's vagina.

2. I’ve been told that sex is usually painful for women. Is this true?
No, sex isn’t painful for women– or men. In fact, it is quite the opposite, provided of course the two partners feel good about what they are doing, care about each other, and are considerate of each other’s feelings.

When a male is sexually aroused, his penis gets thicker, but the vagina is a very elastic organ and easily expands to accommodate an erect penis. When a female is sexually aroused, her vagina produces a lubricating fluid that helps the penis slide comfortably into the vagina. If however, a couple tries to have sex before the female is fully aroused and her vagina have begun to lubricate and expand, the sex could be uncomfortable. Also, if a girl is having sex for the first time, she could experience some discomfort or pain, either because she’s nervous and her vaginal muscles tighten up and decreases lubrication to the vagina, or because her vaginal opening is small and tight and as the penis goes in, the hymen (if it’s still intact) gets torn. Or again, maybe because the female is not yet well lubricated.

3. What is vaginal, oral and anal sex?
Vaginal sex usually means having a man's penis placed inside a woman's vagina. Oral sex means one person placing his or her mouth on another person's genitals (penis, vagina or anus). Anal sex is usually when a man's penis is placed inside someone else's anus.

4. How old should one be before starting to have sex? Should you wait till you’re married? Is it OK to have sex if you’re really in love, even though you’re not married? Are teenagers mature enough to handle sex? Why do people make sex such a big deal– if two people want to have sex, why shouldn’t they just go ahead and do it?
Though you have expressed your questions in many ways, they’re all about the same thing– when is the right time to have sex? You however are the best person to answer the question! Some people feel it’s OK for two people to have sex with each other as long as they’re both adults or have reached a certain age. For most people however, sex is not about age. For instance, many people feel that you shouldn’t have sex until you’re married regardless of your age. People hold this view for a variety of reasons: religious belief, afraid of pregnancy or an STD. So you see, the choice is up to you. You alone will decide what you will do, and your decision will be based on your values and beliefs…those things that matter to you.

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Pregnancy, Childbirth and Contraception Back to top

1. Can I get pregnant the first time I have sex?
Yes! You can get pregnant the first time, the second time, or any other time you have sex. It does not matter how many times you have sex or the position in which you have it, you can still get pregnant.

2. I haven’t started having periods yet. Can I have sex without worrying about getting pregnant?
No! Because you ovulate before you start your period, you can get pregnant before you ever have your first period.

3. My friend says she only has sex during her period so she can’t get pregnant. Does that work?
No! You can get pregnant at any time of the month because you can ovulate at any time during your monthly cycle.

4. My boyfriend told me that if he pulls out before he ejaculates, I can’t get pregnant. Is that true?
No! Some sperm are released before ejaculation - and it only takes one sperm to fertilize an egg.

5. Can you become pregnant if pre-ejaculate come in contact with the vulva? What is the possibility?
Yes, you can get pregnant in this situation. During sexual intercourse, almost all penises pre-ejaculate (leak fluid) before ejaculation. The pre-ejaculate is very concentrated with sperm and nutrients and can easily travel up the vagina and fertilize an egg after it comes in contact with the vulva. The chances of pregnancy are somewhat less than completely unprotected sex, but it still is a possibility.

6. Are there some people who aren’t able to have babies?
Yes. Some men and women, because they are infertile or sterile, are unable to reproduce.

7. How old is a woman before she’s too old to have a baby?
Women stop having babies when they’ve gone through menopause. Menopause is the time in a woman’s life when her ovaries stop producing a ripe ovum each month and she stops having her menstrual periods. It happens between ages forty-five and fifty-five for most women, though for some, it could be earlier or later.

8. Why are some babies girls and some boys?
The sex of a baby depends on the father’s sperm. Some sperm have X-chromosome, which means they are capable of uniting with an ovum and making a female baby. Other sperm have Y-chromosome, which means that they are capable of uniting with an ovum and making a male baby. So, if a sperm contains Y-chromosome and fertilizes the ovum, the baby will be a boy, if on the other hand it contains X-chromosome, the baby will be a girl. From this, we can see that it is the man who determines the sex of the baby and not the woman, as some people believe.

9. I get confused when people use the terms identical and fraternal twins. Please could you explain the difference between the two?
Identical twins are twins who look exactly alike. They are formed when an egg cell is fertilized by a sperm cell and then the fertilized egg cell splits exactly in half to produce two identical children. Identical twins are always the same sex and have the same blood types. They usually share the same placenta (the special organ which enables a developing baby to get nourishment from its mother and to eliminate waste matter).

Fraternal twins on the other hand, results when more than one egg is released from the ovaries during ovulation and each egg is fertilized by a sperm. Two embryos are formed, which will then develop into two babies. They do not share the same placenta, may not look alike and may have different blood types. They also may be either the same sex or different sexes.

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Sexually Transmitted Diseases and HIV/AIDS Back to top

1. How do I get tested for STDs and where do I go to get tested?
There are many different tests for each of the different STDs. There is not one test that will screen for all STDs. Some STDs are hard to test for if you do not have any symptoms. Some STDs can be tested through simple blood work or a urine test; some can only be tested for through culturing body fluid from the penis, vagina or open sore on the body. If you go in for testing, it is important to ask your health care provider which tests will be done and which will not. Sometimes weeks or months need to pass to give your body enough time to develop antibodies that will show up in a test.

Your local health department, community or family planning clinic, private doctor are all good locations to check out for STD testing. However, not all these places provide adolescent-friendly services, so make sure you go to a place where they attend to adolescents in a non-judgmental manner.

2. What are the common symptoms of STDs?
STDs can cause physical symptoms like bumps or sores on the skin, itchy discharge, pain or burning during urination (peeing), fever, or symptoms like the flu. But all of these symptoms can be caused by other illnesses that are not sexually transmitted. Some STDs do not cause any symptoms at all. So, you can see how difficult it would be to diagnose a STD just based on symptoms you may be experiencing.

3. Can I get an STD from kissing?
This is possible but not very common. If your partner's mouth is infected with an STD, then he or she may be able to pass that infection to your mouth during a kiss. Fever blisters and cold sores can be passed through a kiss if your partner is infected, and blood-borne infections like HIV or Hepatitis B or C can only be passed through kissing if there is the exchange of infected blood. If your partner has an infection in his or her genital area, then kissing on the mouth will not transmit the infection.

4. My girlfriend prefers oral sex because she says it’s safe. Is this true?
Oral-genital sex may be risky unless a mechanical barrier such as a dental dam (for stimulating the female genitals with the tongue) or a condom (for mouth stimulation of the penis) is used. STD infections occur in the mouth as well as in the genitals and anus, and can be passed from mouth to genitals or from genitals to mouth.

The dental dam is a small square of latex that dentists use for isolating a tooth preparatory to working on it. It may be placed on the vulva for oral sex, as a barrier between tongue and genitals, while on the other hand, one can use non-lubricated condoms. These can be bought at pharmacies/chemists. The high-risk practice of oral-anal sex often results in transmission of intestinal parasites and other diseases, which undermine the health.

5. Can I have an STD and not know it?
Yes! Many STDs can take weeks, months or years before symptoms show. Some people never develop symptoms for some STDs. STDS can still be given to someone else even when a person is not experiencing symptoms.

6. How do I know if my partner is infected?
The simple answer is that you may not know your partner is infected unless he or she tells you. Remember, because some STDs don't show any symptoms, your partner may not even know if he or she is infected.

7. Can you get an STD from a public restroom?
This is not very likely. Most STDs are only transmitted during sexual contact, either by skin-to-skin contact or through body fluid exchange. Crabs, or pubic lice, may be transmitted through sexual contact, sleeping in infected bedding, sharing infected clothing and possibly through sitting on an infested toilet seat. However, lice cannot survive away from the human body for longer than 24 hours. So contracting pubic lice from a toilet seat is possible, but unlikely.

8. I need to know all about AIDS and how much it would cost to have an HIV test.
AIDS is the acronym for Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. It is a disease caused by a virus called the Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV). For one to get AIDS, the virus has to get into your blood, through which it spreads to all parts of your body and damages your immune system, hence the name "immunodeficiency".

HIV is spread mainly through sexual intercourse, but you can also become infected HIV if you share syringes (injections), razor blades and other sharp objects with someone who has the virus. Sometimes, people contract HIV after receiving blood in hospitals (blood transfusion), especially if the blood was not screened for HIV before use. Some babies also get the virus from their mothers during childbirth and from breast milk during breastfeeding.

The virus kills the body’s T cells, which normally protect your body against infection with diseases. When your body’s T cells are killed, you do not yet have AIDS but you do have HIV. You don’t always know that you have it and you may still look fit and healthy even long after infection. But when you have sex or share sharp objects with others, you can pass the virus to them. They won’t know you have the virus, neither will you. And so the disease keeps spreading.

The virus can take a long time to kill all your T cells. Between five to ten years afterwards, one may start to get sick. The body can no longer protect itself and becomes highly susceptible to life-threatening infections. You may get very thin, have swollen glands, lung infections or get cancer. After some time, your body becomes so weak that you eventually die from an opportunistic infection.

The only way to be sure of your HIV status is to have an HIV test. You can visit any of the university teaching hospitals around you to do the test. The test will likely be cheaper at such hospitals.

To avoid contracting AIDS, abstain from sex. And if you must have sex, use a condom and stay with one partner. Also, don’t inject drugs into your body and make sure that any blood to be transfused into your body is screened. In addition, all sharp instruments you share with others must be sterilized after each use.

It is also important to note that one cannot get AIDS through hugging or touching, or from toilets, mosquito bites and other such actions that do not involve any exchange of body fluid. In order words, you can show love to people living with AIDS without fear of being infected with the disease.

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