What exactly does "having sex" include?

"Having sex" can mean many things. It can refer to intimacy or closeness between a man and a woman, between two men or between two women. "Having sex" doesn't just mean when a man's penis enters a woman's vagina.

I’ve been told that sex is usually painful for women. Is this true?

No, sex isn’t painful for women– or men. In fact, it is quite the opposite, provided of course the two partners feel good about what they are doing, care about each other, and are considerate of each other’s feelings.

When a male is sexually aroused, his penis gets thicker, but the vagina is a very elastic organ and easily expands to accommodate an erect penis. When a female is sexually aroused, her vagina produces a lubricating fluid that helps the penis slide comfortably into the vagina. If however, a couple tries to have sex before the female is fully aroused and her vagina have begun to lubricate and expand, the sex could be uncomfortable. Also, if a girl is having sex for the first time, she could experience some discomfort or pain, either because she’s nervous and her vaginal muscles tighten up and decreases lubrication to the vagina, or because her vaginal opening is small and tight and as the penis goes in, the hymen (if it’s still intact) gets torn. Or again, maybe because the female is not yet well lubricated.

What is vaginal, oral and anal sex?

Vaginal sex usually means having a man's penis placed inside a woman's vagina. Oral sex means one person placing his or her mouth on another person's genitals (penis, vagina or anus). Anal sex is usually when a man's penis is placed inside someone else's anus.

How old should one be before starting to have sex? Should you wait till you’re married? Is it OK to have sex if you’re really in love, even though you’re not married? Are teenagers mature enough to handle sex? Why do people make sex such a big deal– if two people want to have sex, why shouldn’t they just go ahead and do it?

Though you have expressed your questions in many ways, they’re all about the same thing– when is the right time to have sex? You however are the best person to answer the question! Some people feel it’s OK for two people to have sex with each other as long as they’re both adults or have reached a certain age. For most people however, sex is not about age. For instance, many people feel that you shouldn’t have sex until you’re married regardless of your age. People hold this view for a variety of reasons: religious belief, afraid of pregnancy or an STD. So you see, the choice is up to you. You alone will decide what you will do, and your decision will be based on your values and beliefs…those things that matter to you.