Dating

Did you ever notice that when you were younger, you had friends only of your sex, but as you grew older, you began to be attracted to members of the opposite sex? This is a natural experience for most teens, and it can range from just simple wariness to outright scorn of the opposite sex.

As you go through puberty and develop interest in the opposite sex, you are faced with a new challenge...dating! Dating is when two or more people meet at a specific time or place for leisure. Dating enables people to experience companionship, get to know each other better, and could lead to a more intimate relationship.

In dating, some of the issues you have to deal with– as you probably already know– include how to ask for a date, where to go, how to get there, what to do and talk about, and who to pay for any expenses. As if these weren't enough, there's the additional question of who should ask for the date– whether the boy or girl. Traditionally, men ask women for dates, but with the eroding of traditional gender roles, this is changing and it is becoming acceptable for women to ask men out. As you decide which way to go, keep in mind it is not okay to do something you're not comfortable with just because "everyone" is doing it. It is also important to realize that just like we have different "puberty clocks", readiness and interest in dating vary among people. There is no right or wrong age to start dating. Some start dating from their teen years, while others don't start till their twenties. So, if you're not dating yet...for whatever reason, don't feel pressured to do want you're not ready or interested in doing yet.

That said, it is also important to know those things that attract people to others and things that may turn them off. The most common things that attract people include a person's personality, looks, interests/hobbies, values, and goals. Similarly, these could also be reasons for non-attraction.

Tips for successful dating

• Be yourself. Do not try to act or dress like someone else.
• Be genuine, open and honest.
• Make decisions regarding beliefs and behaviour prior to the date (e.g. alcohol use, sex, etc.).
• Remain consistent in your values, beliefs and actions...you don't want to send mixed messages.
• Take responsibility of the situation becomes uncomfortable and take action.
• Use the time to get to know your date and his/her interests. Talk about likes/dislikes, hobbies, family, etc. But be careful not to bombard your date with too many questions. Be conscious of his/her verbal or facial reaction to your questions. If you think he/she is uncomfortable with a question, let it go and don't ask similar questions. Some people wait till they know others well before opening up to them, so don't expect everyone to tell you their life's story on a first date!
• Remain in a crowd until you feel comfortable being alone with your date.
• Do not try to convert your date to your political or religious beliefs. These can be very sensitive topics to discuss on a first date, especially for those that have strong views about them. Better still, avoid discussing these topics on a first date.

Now that we're done with dating, let's talk about love.... LEARN MORE