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Breaking Up a Relationship
Not all relationships last a lifetime, and many times, there's reason to end a relationship. This can be traumatic for both young people and adults, but more so for young people who generally feel emotions more intensely than adults. Teens feel rejected, disconnected from everything, and depressed. Some teens go as far as attempting suicide, or even succeed in taking their lives after a break-up. We want to stress that this is something very serious and should be taken as such. If you know someone who you think is suicidal because of a break-up, report to a trusted adult immediately and seek professional help for the person. On the lighter side, not all break-ups are painful. Some are even met with a sense of relief. This may be because one party felt trapped in the relationship and only remained in it because of not wanting to hurt the other person's feelings.
Some of the reasons people end their relationships include:
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One or both partners are no longer in love, or starts taking interest in someone else.
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Expectations of the partner and/or relationship has not been met.
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Partners have different and uncompromisable values and/or opinions.
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One partner feels emotionally and/or physically abused/taken advantage of.
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Partners are not satisfied sexually.
Tips for ending a relationship
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Be prepared for hurt feelings. This is almost always inevitable.
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Be kind and honest, but not cruel. Give reasons for wanting the break-up.
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Be firm in your decision and don't let yourself be talked out of it.
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Do it at the right time. Be considerate of your partner's situation. If your partner is experiencing some other form of stress, e.g. exams, serious sickness or death in his/her family, wait till a more appropriate time, but don't wait too long that it becomes detrimental to you.
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If possible, try to stay friends. If not, don't force it.
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Do it face-to-face. This is respectful to you and your partner. Fearing the other person's reaction, some people write letters, email, phone, or even get others to do the breaking-up for them. This is disrespectful and should only be done if you fear for your safety, i.e. you think the person may be so angry as to strike you.
Dealing with a break-up
As has been said, break-ups can be a traumatic experience. However, once it's happened, the only positive thing to do is to deal with it and move on. Sitting down and sulking or engaging in self-pity does not help and is certainly not healthy. It leads to loss of productivity, self-esteem and confidence. In more severe cases, it could lead to depression and even suicide. Here are some tips to help deal with break-ups.
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Accept the break-up and learn from the experience of the relationship. It is common for teens to deny the reality of a break-up and even fantasize about getting back together with the person. This only leads to more disappointment and sadness, especially when it doesn't happen.
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Do not keep your emotions bottled-up. Talk to a friend about your feelings...it helps greatly. If you feel like crying, by all means do so. Some people also feel like yelling and screaming.
Whatever you do to release your emotions, do not engage in destructive behaviour, whether to yourself, someone else, or property.
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Engage in activities that will help you not think about the break-up too often. Activities such as sports, reading or going out with friends help a lot.
A break up is not the end of the world! Take it as one of life's experiences and a fresh opportunity to meet someone new and exciting, perhaps your life partner!
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